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About Digital Art / Artist Queen of the AshesFemale/United Kingdom Groups :iconendangered-animals: Endangered-Animals
Raising awareness since 28.01.10
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UNTITLED WIP by Crystal-Cinders
I'm actually working on something! AGHGHGHSHHSUFUF

I'm going to florida in a few hours but I just wanted to prove that I'm alive and working and everything so yes and also I needed to check the colours look right because i cant tell on this dim screen so i'm off to check on another device yess <3

I'm so disgusted with myself ughgughghg

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 5, 2014, 5:44 AM
I have no clue what's wrong with me and I want to scream because it's pissing me off so badly ughghghghg. I said weeks ago I'd be back, and literally, what have I done? Nothing. Nothing at all. I don't have the energy to go through my art messages and look at others' work which I find utterly awful, and I can't find the courage to pick up my tablet and start off any art. I started a personal peice for myself in January and it's sitting there literally abandoned and I don't know what's bloody wrong with myself because I've had a massive break from dA and what's worse is the fact that I have all the time in the world now to do things, but I'd much rather write or spend time on tumblr - which I think has made me lazy, since I prefer to scroll through the posts and now having to actually go through art peices here on dA still seems like such a task. 

I mean sure, my screen is still dark and slightly broken so that's been holding off my art, but I'm still so disgusted with myself, because this stupid way of mine isn't any good on others. It's not like I don't have anything to draw; I really want to introduce my lovely new OC Glass to you all, and her time is way overdue, and I have all these sketches I could colour but I don't know what's wrong with me. 

I definitely don't want to quit deviantART, and I'm going to make a much better effort now after I've written this, starting with RPs. I'm going to cut down the people I watch to those people I comment on, and check the rest of the artists to see if they have tumblr and everything. It'll be a start, I suppose. 

It might be due to the fact I've now decided I want to be a writer when I'm older, as a side, and maybe be an English Teacher or something though kids sometimes irratate me so I'd like to see how that's going to work and I'm now about 35,000 words through my second novel and I'm still in the first ten chapters, but gawd I'm so annoyed that I'm not doing any art and I'm getting so frustrated and it's not leading anywhere and my scanner isn't working so I can't scan in Glass's reference sheet and for goodness sake this is leading absolutely nowhere. 

So I also want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone for my awful behavior and my lying when I said I'd be back and I'm not, and I don't know if this journal is just me going in circles, although I really know I want to continue doing art, since I really want to start working on a colouring style like Kazuki Yone's, but I'm just so pissed with myself. I got a lovely message from a friend and they did mention they weren't sure if this account was abandoned or not, and that made me feel awful, but it also made me realize I really need to get my options prioritized. I'll be starting college next year, and I'll be busy then, so I really want to use the time I have now. Likewise, I'll be going to Florida in a few weeks, and I can't do anything there, and also I'll be moving so I won't have internet access for God knows how long, so I need to get stuff done NOW. This weekend is my time to fix things, I think. 

So, I'm sorry everyone. To those who have beared with me: thank you. (And actually btw: I think I'll be dropping out of the admin of some groups. It's just not something I can handle with the way I am now). Really, really, really, thank you. I'll try to make up for my stupidity and lax behavior!


Queen of the Ashes
Artist | Digital Art
United Kingdom


Artist | Digital Art
United Kingdom

The gorgeous ID art is by Copperhaven and the adorable Custom Box Backgrounds are by MissDudette

Anyways . . .
My name is Ellie, but some dear people call me Crystal.
I am soo British, and I love faking my accent and saying such words like adore and dahling and abhor.
(But I'm not so fond of tea so I'm not completely British)
Regardless, when I'm close with someone I tend to get overexcited and TYPE IN CAPITALS at them.
I might be slightly physco, but I put most of my energy into drooling over others' art and doing my own stuff.
('Stuff' refers to sparkly semi-realistic horses, most of the time)
I also have a really weird habit of naming all my art after songs. Yep.
Plus I wanna be a character designer/animator for Disney/Dreamworks/Blue Sky when I'm older.
Or a writer.

So yep. That's me!


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Add a Comment:
saviourandella Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi Ellie, remember me?
I just dropped by on your page to say that i hope you're doing okay. :heart:
JEAikman Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*boops on the nose* Castor says Hi :D
Seeburglar Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Happy Belated Birthday!  :iconhappybirthdaysignplz: (I've been out of town for the past week and ended up not having internet.  D'oh!  :shakefist:)  I hope you had a fantastic day!  Miss you! :glomp:
(1 Reply)
glitteringpeaches Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday Crystal! :party:
(1 Reply)
xXInsaneSoulXx Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!!! :party::party::cake::party::party:
(1 Reply)
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